Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"Sir.., why Islam does not approve dating ?"

Normally, on every Tuesday I’ll have class with my Upper six students in KTJ. My students come from very good backgrounds as they come from government boarding school before.

They are doing their 'A Level' program here, under sponsorship by Petronas and Bank Negara. Insya Allah, they will further their study in UK this August. May Allah bless them !

Yesterday, one of them asked me,

“Sir , I read your articles about Zina in your blog. However, what I wonder is, if Islam does not approve dating, so how do we know more details about our partner ?”

I explained to my students,

“Class, people argue that without dating, you cannot get to know someone well enough to marry them. However, in reality it is not the best way of seeing person for whom he really is. When two person are dating, they put forth their best behavior to impress the other person.

Often, people hide their true personalities in their effort to keep the other person satisfied, so he / she won’t leave them. However, when they get married, they may be disappointed by the real personality of their spouse, which only comes out after they have started together as husband and wife .”

“Sir, If muslims don’t date, how do they get married?”, the students asked.

To respond to the question, I recited a well-known hadith which transmitted by Imam Tirmizi,

‘Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Syaitan is the third ‘.

“Class, according to the hadith, the natural attraction between the opposite sexes is one of Allah’s test of faith. By avoiding being alone together, boys and girls can prevent temptation.

If you want to get married, you should look for a boy or a girl who is good character and a practicing muslim. A muslim girl takes pride in her chastity and honor, and a muslim boy respects and admires a girl who is chaste and virtuous.

And one more important thing, it is also advisable not to postpone the date of the marriage unnecessarily “, I ended my class discussion.

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